The Full English Lyrics

I went to see the Sphinx

By her pyramid,

And did I wonder what see thinks?

Well of course I did.

 

Enigmas turn me on

I like to be nonplussed.

But when I got up close, I said 'Come on...

This girl is just so obvious.'

And Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine.

Yes Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine. 

Reticence is a noble art,

That's what I believe,

And I don't care to wear my heart

On my record sleeve.

But when it comes to keeping shtum,

Being silent and serene,

She'd make a Trappist nun

Sound like a PR Consultant on benzedrine...

And Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine.

Yes Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine. 

I went to see the show

With that superstar.

Black fishnets torn just so,

And a leather bra.

She did her sexy stuff

Rolling round the floor.

I'd soon had quite enough,

But as I left, they asked what for.

And Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine.

Yes Chris does it better...

You haven't seen Christine. 

A song written, but never previously recorded, when I was going out with a lady called Chris. My parents named me 'Christopher John Judge Smith', and before this relationship, about half my friends still used my first 'given' name, and called me 'Chris'. I had never liked the name (for myself), and since, in the mid '70s, people had spontaneously taken to calling me 'Judge' instead, I was gradually trying to drop it.

 Among the many nice things about this relationship was the fact that two 'Chris's' together were too much to deal with for most people.

The high point of this track for me is the fabulously eclectic guitar solo from John Ellis; visiting several different musical worlds within sixteen bars.

For non-UK listeners
To 'keep shtum' is Cockney slang (from Yiddish), meaning to keep quiet, or to say nothing.